Having survived the night and waking to a New Year's day that provided nothing particularly special or meaningful...same old 6am wake up call from the babes, same old coffee mug, same clothes in the dryer that need to be folded, same dog that needed to be fed, etc. I decided that today I must repeat the tradition that I have made with myself each new year...to reflect.
My reflection usually consists of pawing through the last year's notes and cards, journal entries and photos...just for the joy of remembering. I snuggle up with a cup of coffee and pore over this much loved correspondence with a hope for the same in the following year. I also take down the calendars and replace them with fresh ones, yet not without a reverent combing through to remember the events, minor and major, that graced the square boxes of our lives over the course of 365 days.
I love calendars. It must be the teacher in me, but I love the planning and recording that they force us to do. I love that each year brings the gift of four new seasons and all of the outings and adventures that go along with them. I love birthdays and holidays...days that are ordinary to most, but special to my family and community.
One of my favorite children's book illustrators, Nikki McClure, also publishes a calendar each year. The luscious cut-paper prints entice me to no end, while the dates and moon phases are simple and non-intrusive. But, the best part about her calendars are the WORDS! Each month is given a special word all to itself. Last year's NMC calendar became like a premonitory thesaurus for my life. It was the most unreal thing! Each month as I turned over the new page, there stood the word that exactly defined that month of my life...my theme, my definition, right there as if she had planned it that way. And so to sum up 2012...here are Nikki Mc Clure's 12 Calendar WORDS that strangely and magically came to define the last year of my life.
January - PERMIT
Permit yourself to not have resolutions this year...give in to sleep and self-care during the mid-months of pregnancy. Permit yourself to have the first year of postponing goals and expectations and worries of the new year...instead give in to sustenance and family and self-preservation in a world of caring for others.
February - SUMMON
Summon faith and the good wishes of the gods as you hope and pray that your job lasts past its temporary date of February 29th. Summon strength and determination to keep working through the school year in order to support your growing family and nearly graduated husband.
March - INHERIT
Inherit the job of your predecessor...do not let her down, as this was HER class, HER place. Inherit the pride that comes with working with children who have nothing. Inherit the courage that will be necessary to make it through these last months of pregnancy while not knowing where life will take you. Inherit patience and strength as you navigate the troubled waters of your marriage.
April - FREE
Free for one more month...free before the realities of graduation, birth and job are upon us. One magical month left of just the three of us: John, Becky and Nina before we welcome this new little soul. Free as we enjoy one more month of the college-lifestyle that has been our year in Flagstaff.
May - PERSIST
Persist, work hard, don't give up...graduate. Persist through to the end of the school year with my class before the baby comes. Persist even though you have no strength left to carry this enormous child! Persist right up until the very end of the month...May 31st. She is here and she is healthy and happy...thanks to our persistence!
June - GOOD LUCK
Good luck to us as we send out resumes and remember life with a newborn. Good luck to us as we pack up our belongings...AGAIN...and venture towards the unknown. No jobs, no home, two babies...GOOD LUCK!
July - DEPEND
Depend on the parents that love us and have welcomed us home. Depend on strong shoulders while we wait and hope. Depend on in-laws that buy diapers and make dinners because they have faith in us and know that things will be okay. Depend on each other in a time that we know not what will come but have put every best effort forth towards the promise of something brighter.
August - STEADY
Steady ourselves as we receive the good news and accept the job. Steady income, steady marriage. Steady ourselves and move forward into a new life that we are wary of but so so grateful for.
September - FOSTER
Foster new relationships in this new place, this foreign place of cactus and sand. Foster kindness and openness to those that think so very differently than we do. Foster friendships at new schools and new workplaces.
October - ENCHANT
Enchant ourselves with the whims and marvels of two small children. Enchanted by new friends that bring apples and pomegranates ( in the desert?), a bloom on the cactus in the front yard and birds that grace us with their beautiful morning fluttering just because we put the seed out.
November - PURPOSE
Purposefully travel to be with family in celebration of the passing of a life. Purpose and hard work as John dutifully serves the ER each night and supports our family. A sense of heightened purpose as we celebrate living in a free world with choices in who we elect to serve our nation.
December - WE ARE STARLIGHT
Remembering that life is such a beautiful, short gift that we are given. Celebrating milestones with family and mourning the inconceivable loss of 26 lives in CT. Holding our children dear and taking part in traditions old and new...facing the worries of what will come to pass in the new year. We are but a small speck on this earth. Our time here is precious...we must do the best we can to cherish every moment. WE ARE STARLIGHT!
Happy New Year to all... may 2013 bring all of these things and more!
